Screaming Infidelities

You know what’s worse than any heartbreak? It’s when you work hard to reach something so high and then at the end of the day you fall hard to the ground. That’s what I’m feeling right now. I don’t know what I did, or did not do, but I swear I have never worked before as hard as I did for this event to push through. Then all my efforts are gone gone gone.

There’s a voice at the back of my mind that’s telling me to be calm, and to think that this is not a failure, but an opportunity to learn that sometimes you just can’t have everything. That sometimes, the world gets so cruel and that it will crush you to pieces so you my learn the meaning of being whole. But it’s not the failure of the event that hurts me.. It’s the fact that I’ve worked myself too hard for this. Well, I’m not going to enumerate all my grievances here. THIS BLOG WOULDN’T BE ENOUGH FOR IT.

Oh well, Juvy, Life’s like that. Shit happens. Lesson learned.. No one can ever say that you did not do enough.

For a very long time, I’ve been worrying on how things will turn out to be. I dreaded the day that someone will say NO and reject everything that I laid out, killing my hopes and dreams. (well not really, but it will hurt for sure)

Yesterday was my deadliest deadline. If no one confirms then I’ll call it off myself. Luckily, someone confirmed and said YES, rekindling the small light of hope I have left. Whew! A little more later, I could’ve gone out and gotten drunk instead.

That event changed everything. Now, I’ve been thinking of the IMPLICATIONS of what just happened. I have to WORK WORK WORK WORK 10 TIMES HARDER, to pull this off SUCCESSFULLY. It’s already a given that we could pull this off, the question is, will it be as successful as we thought it would be? Oh well. Bahala na.

On other news:
Last night, I was able to get home around 11pm. Last ticket, last train, and last bus. I thought to myself, God loves me.  But then again, as the bus was heading south, the traffic was getting heavier and heavier, and since the bus was on its last trip, 73 people have to fit in the 64 seater bus.

As we were approaching Sucat Exit, the bus suddenly stopped.. The lights were out, only the engine and the airconditioner were on. The driver asked the men to help push the bus, a handful went up and out to push the bus. No go. The bus still wouldn’t go. I was already panicking because I heard someone mention that there was a shootout in the area. I went out and I can see a number of police cars at the service road and a group of people checking on the commotion. I called my sister to pick me up since they were on their way to Alabang.

As I leave the bus, I saw the people left inside the bus, anxious and frustrated about the hassle that’s been put to them. We drove along the highway beside the service road where it all happened. Whatever happened there surely is not a pretty sight.

True enough, I checked the news on the internet this morning and found out what really happened. 16 people were killed from the shootout. According to the news, it was a shootout between the Police Special Action Force and 2 of the most notorious robbery gangs, the Waray-Waray Gang and Ozamis Group.