Posts Tagged ‘Add new tag’
Overdriven
I’ve locked myself up for the past 4 days, literally. I go out the room every now and then but I don’t go out of the house. Maybe it’s the lack of inspiration, or lack of drive to get up. I am a lazy person, but I didn’t know it would go this far. Haha. But seriously speaking, I intentionally lock myself in because I wanted to do something. Something that I wouldn’t be able to do if I’m out and away from this teeny little laptop.
I want to write.
Not just some blog post that I usually do, something more serious and deep. A story, a novel, a poem… just something that would inspire me. Yes, I am over driven to write. But I haven’t written anything sensible yet. I have now 5 introductions for my story. All from different perspectives. It’s hard to conceptualize and to continue from one story to another. I linger over one phase and I find it hard to move on.
Actually, I linger on the things that made it hard for me to move on in real life. Heartaches, broken friendships, disappointments, failures… Sometimes I linger on the happy events that had happened too. I don’t know how to finish it. It’s always easy to start, but ending it is never too easy.
Hmm, maybe I should start writing about something impersonal. 
Yeah I’ll do that. For now, I have to stay driven.
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On other news:
My mom is having an operation tomorrow. Finally. I really do hope things go well with her operation. I am afraid, nervous, anxious, about her operation.
My mom has cataract. Tomorrow, they will be removing her cataract through laser surgery. Painless as they say it, eyes are very sensitive. I don’t want her to lose the pleasure of seeing the beautiful things in this world. I want her to clearly see everything. I want her to see me when I march on my graduation day. I want her to see me wear a white coat in my own clinic. I want her to see me and my sisters as we all gather together for our family reunion someday. I am panicking, yes.
