Archive for January 2009
EXPERIENCE THE RUSH OF TRAFFIC JAM
When the stars go blue..
Stressful days are here and I’m still stuck. I’m not moving forward. 
I’ve been counting days and nights, but still no progress. Oh well. Life sucks that way, there’s nothing I can do about it.
Right now, I have less than 5 hours to finish my 6 pages Introduction [chapter 1] and my methodology [chapter3]. I can’t believe that I allowed myself to sleep the night off when I wasn’t able to finish anything. Except for the methodology part, I’m sorta almost done with that.. Haha.
Anyway there.. I am yet again multi-slacking.. the only thing I do the best during these times of life.
Seriously, I can’t think of anything sensible to put in my thesis proposal. I haven’t consulted with my adviser and professor yet, so good luck to me. It’s not that I am to lazy to consult. It’s just that I didn’t see her in school the whole week and I don’t know where to find her. Most of my blockmates who are under her weren’t able to consult either! (I think)
I know it’s not a good enough reason to NOT do anything about my paper. I am not trying to justify my slack. (REALLY)
My frustrations are eating me and I don’t know what to do. I know I have set all my plans and now, none of it are working right. I have to reset everything.
On other news:
Earlier this weekend, my sister gave birth to a beautiful girl named Ashley Maya. We visited her at the hospital and geez, it was amazing!
I can’t believe that my sister is now a mom… and that I am now a real “auntie”. Haha. I am excited to have the baby here at home and most probably I’ll be going home more often.
Here’s a picture of our little girl:
It’s amazing how time pass by so fast. I remember not so long ago.. my sister is just a teenager, like me. But now, she’s a grown woman with the responsibility of caring for another living human. I am so happy. For the longest time, we’ve been longing for a little one to lighten up our home and now here she is.. 
I know my sister will do well in raising her kid, just like our mom raised us. I must admit, I am envious of her. Haha. I want a baby too!! (but of course, not anytime soon). But if I will be blessed and God will give me one (even not conceptually speaking), I will gladly accept it. Maybe I should consider adoption! haha
Are We Human or Are We Denser?
It’s a calm Sunday afternoon here in the South, and I am relaxing.. detoxifying, and browsing through the net. I came along this article in StumbleUpon which made me think about my humanness and everything that comes with it.
It just made me feel like being lost(refer to my previous blog) is just normal, and that I should not be scared of losing and/or getting lost.
I know, I know..life is all about taking chances and making risks.. but how do you know if you are being human or not? Find out here..
| 1. | You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s yours to keep for the entire period. |
| 2. | You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, “life.” |
| 3. | There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The “failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately “work.” |
| 4. | Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson. |
| 5. | Learning lessons does not end. There’s no part of life that doesn’t contain its lessons. If you’re alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned. |
| 6. | “There” is no better a place than “here.” When your “there” has become a “here”, you will simply obtain another “there” that will again look better than “here.” |
| 7. | Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself. |
| 8. | What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours. |
| 9. | Your answers lie within you. The answers to life’s questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust. |
| 10. | You will forget all this. |
True enough, right? Everything that happens in your life depends on the decisions you make, on the lessons you learn, and the mistakes you keep on doing. There really is no one to blame, but yourself. No one to depend on but your own capabilities. No one to trust but your own instincts.
Your choices define your future.
As for me, I made the wrong choices, but I choose to make things right from those wrong decisions. At the end of the day, it’s not the things I choose that will define me, but how I worked my way around the path I am in.
Lost?
I’ve got nothing to lose.
There are a lot of things I don’t understand, a lot of things I’m uncertain of. I know, things aren’t always what they seem, but I’d rather not look.
Right now, I’m in a place where I don’t know the people around.. I don’t know what street I am in… or whatever my purpose is.. and I don’t know what to do.
Somehow, I still think that I am still fortunate to be in this situation. Other people may be into something worse. I know I am not in the position to question the Supreme One’s purpose for my life…. but I can’t help but ask..
Ask why I have to be here.. why I have to lose and give so much.. why I have to be so clueless of everything. I don’t know.
How do I feel about it?
I still don’t know. I’m lost. I know I should not feel bad about where my life is going because I chose this path.. but this is not how I pictured the road I’m going to take.
Maybe I missed the pavement.. I missed the sidewalk.. I didn’t see the people around that area.. I just saw the road.. and the end of it.
That’s what I get for not planning everything.. not planning everything thoroughly. and it sucks.
something, something.
Still writing…
I’m working on a project right now. No, it’s non-academic.. and no, it’s non-extra curricular. I’m doing a life project. Haha. I’m trying to do my life a favor, and I’ve already started on it. It’s a story.. a book or novel—or whatever you may call it.
I still don’t know the plot of my story but I’ve already started it, and it feels great. =)
On other news:
I can’t believe that I’ll be staying away from this old humble house. I’m just not used to living away from here, or from my mom. =(
Maybe I was too stubborn.. maybe I should have listened to them before I decided anything. =(
Unexpected
Yesterday, my father and I watched a basketball game between the Singapore Slingers and our very own Harbour Centre [PBL].
I was hesitant to go with my dad because I thought it was going to be a lousy game but apparently it turned out to be really really fun. The Harbour Centre Team actually played strong against the Sg Slingers, however there had been some “Homecourt Setbacks”.. Haha. (I sort of shouted my lungs out during the game because of the unjust calls by the refs)
After the game, I had this feeling that those guys will be going home tomorrow (which is today) and there will be a great chance that I’ll see them at the Changi Airport. Luck was on me. And, it had something better in store.
I was already feeling hopeless about seeing them when mom and I went to the lounge…. but just as when we were about to board I saw three tall familiar guys. Two of them were wearing sponsored shirts and there they were. Yeah lah! The same guys who I saw play just the other day. Tough luck, eh?
Hahaha. S0 I was gushing over the boys and I started texting my sister. I felt like a teenybopper mooning over the hottest basketball player in high school. Like seriously. Hahaha. What topped it all off was they were seated at the row before my seat. Wooohooo. Too bad, I had no cam with me and my phones were all dead.
It was a good welcome home for me. And I still can’t get over it. *blush*
But that doesn’t change the fact that I’ll miss my Singapore buddies. =(
I’ll be back soon, I hope.
Last Day
Two weeks ended so fast and I can’t believe I’m leaving again tomorrow. Sigh. Have I made the most out of this vacation? I’ll have to sa.. YES. Even though I spent most of the time here at home. Even though my mom had to nag out all the spirit of laziness in me.
This was one of the most memorable vacations I’ve ever had. I’ve learned a lot of things. I’ve met new friends, and known them better. I’ve actually spent time with my father without the fear of having an argument or discussion.
Tomorrow, I shall leave this sanctuary and go back to the reality of toxicity, pollution, academic stress and extra/co curr. pressures.
And I am home.
I Just Have To..
write something about you here. (Even though I promised myself that this blog will never give space to the kind of post this will become)
I’m browsing through different blogs, friendster profiles, and multiply accounts when I came across yours. I looked at it blankly and it surprised me how I couldn’t feel anything. But it did come to my mind that I want to see you again. I wonder how it feels like to hold your hand and hug you and watch you as you go on with your day. I was on the verge of falling in love. But I saw you weren’t going to catch me anyway.
But, oh well, what the hell… it doesn’t matter now, does it?
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Happy New Year Chum.
I miss you.
PMS
I googled PMS and I finally understood why this part of my life is the worst. I looked at the Risk Factors and I realized that I have a high risk of PMS-ing based on those factors.
What happens when Juvy is PMS-ing?
1. She becomes over emotional.
o There was this one time when I just started crying over everything, just because. The next day, I was feeling depressed and I had my period. Soooo, if I’m emotional for no apparent reason, I’m just PMS-ing.
2. She suffers abdominal cramps for hours.
o I literally couldn’t stand nor walk when this happens. I think I’m becoming immune with the pain killer I’m taking because I don’t feel its effect anymore when I take it.
3. She gets a LITTLE cranky.
o Just a little. When I’m not in the mood, I’M REALLY NOT IN THE MOOD. And if you don’t want to be bitched on, then just shut the f*ck up. (Sometimes, I bitch around when I’m PMS-ing)
4. She eats less.
o When I have my period, I tend to lose appetite, in contrast with those who crave more when they have it. I don’t know. It sort of just comes naturally. I don’t feel the need to eat and I just want to lay around and do nothing.
5. [Sometimes] She becomes more hyper.
o This happens during the third day or when the ab cramps are over. But, when I get home or start to rest, I lose all my energy. =(
Suggestions/Coping Mechanisms for PMS:
(These work for me, so I’m hoping they might work for you too)
- Sleep at least 8 times a day.
- Have a bottle of beer (it kind of helps with the flow… or something like that)
- Walk around (I know.. I know.. but this helps the muscle contraction inside somewhere there.. i think… hahaha)
- Drink plenty of water.
- Drink hot choco instead of coffee(I don’t follow this, I just want to suggest it)
- Wash with lukewarm water.
serving suggestion: 8pax —–JUST KIDDING. HAHA.
HAPPY PMS-ing!
365 Days
Another year has gone by and here I am still thinking… is that really how my 2008 ends?
But of course, since this is the first post of the year, I’ll make this one good.
I’m looking forward to a great 2009. I know my 2008 wasn’t the best year, but it just makes my 2009 a better chance of making things better, starting to patch up everything that needs to be patched up and striving to be better, for myself and for everyone. I know, it sounds like a bullsh*t plan but that’s what I want to do.
I’ve slacked enough and it’s about time I start working on the things I need to do.
But before I go through my 2009, I’d like to say a few things to the people who made my 2008, MY 2008.
(inspired by RZ’s blog——thanks for being nice and friendly too)
My family:
We are the weirdest happy/notsohappy family ever. But I am happy to be part of this weirdness. You made my 2008 more interesting than it could have been. To my parents: I love you both and I want you to know that I may be stubborn but I will do (not try), I will do my best to reach my dreams, finish my studies and make you both proud. To my sisters: Ate Yel—you are the greatest. For trying to be a very great sister when we were left home. (Even though you werent around most of the time..I love you) Pringles is the best blessing we could have. Ate Jen—Ayo! This is the first year since highschool that we’ll be apart..geographically speaking. I have the whole 2009 to bear living without you and you made my stay here in Singapore very memorable. I love you:)
To my Sisters in Principle:
You might think I’ve been distant this year. I’m not. I’m still here. I’m still the same old sister you’ve known. I’m just a little caught up with everything that has happened. 2008 was a different year for us and I know we were all in shock of everything. The changes, the tragic moments, the problems that we’ve surpassed. But see, that’s the point, we surpassed it TOGETHER and that’s what matters.
TO MY PARTNER FOREVER:
I love you and nothing’s going to change that. Through the uphill climbs and downhill walks in our life, I’ll stay with you. I want you to know that I’m still here to listen, to rationalize and to tell you what I think.
TO MY BATCHMATES in Manila:
Robin and Mary— you guys are more than just my batchmates.. you are my family, my friends, my sisters. I miss you now more than ever.
TO MY BATCHMATES in Diliman:
Chia and Sheela— Gaaaawwd, I miss you two so much! But 07 will always be the best batch ever
TO MICHELLE:
Batch, I’m still here, just here. We all miss you.
To the younger ones:
Mona, Lorra, Len: I’m so proud of the 08 batch! You are the young blood of the Sorority and I know you’ll grow and live by the Principle we all believe and live in.
Lorra: Thanks for everything, anak. I’m looking for more weird-unplanned-roadtrips with you.
To the older ones: Thank you for teaching me the things that you’ve learned during your years.
To my Brothers in Principle:
Have a great year my dear brothers.
To my LC Randell:
Thank you for the laughtrip moments. Hug. Cheers to a good year!
To my Friends:
Francesca—Labs, thanks for everything. Huhu. Sorry dun sa ginawa ko. Pinagsisihan ko yun at hanggang ngayon, iniisip ko pa ren ang katangahan ko.=( [alam mo na yun]
Mikey— Salamat sa pagiging mabuting kaibigan. Sorry din.. dun sa.. alam mo na yun. Basta yun. =)
(ang labo ng mga message ko haha)
VF—mahal ko kayo! Salamat sa isa pang taon na na-spend nyo with me.. George, bumalik ka na ah? Nakakamiss ka. Aby! Congrats sa pagdating ni Inigo. Mahal ka naming lahat. Happy new year!
BEZ–(aby&allan)
Sorry kung wala na naman ako.. Mahal ko kayo pareho.
Blockmates—-Magandang taon para sa ating lahat. Weeeee. Nanalo rin tayo sa wakas! Mag Tides ulet tayo ha?
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To EP, JL, JP, GC, JE, and the others who must not be named
Thank you. For being the person that you are, and for being part of the woman I have become. Thanks for sharing a part of your life with mine. I hope you find what you’re looking for.
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To my New Friends:
Singapore: Express People =) Ate Dang, Ate Eve, Ate Anna, Kuya Alvin, Kuya Tonio
Thanks for letting me spend time with you. You guys are amazing. Never a dull moment with yu guys.
UPM:
I can’t list down every name of everyone but you guys make my sstay in UPM much more interesting.
Whew! And for all those who weren’t mentioned here. Thank you very much.. Thank you for being part of the 2008. For making it better.. For making it the year that it was.
