Screaming Infidelities

Quoted from Reader’s Digest October 2008 issue:

“Animal Rights Group People  for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has set an almighty challenge: they’ll award $1 million to anyone who can bring lab-made meat to the market by 2012…”
That was just by far the most insane idea I have ever heard, and it’s coming from a well renowned organization. No, I don’t have anything against PETA but I think they’re starting to get a little bit, how should I say this, overboard? Exaggerated, perhaps. But yeah, it’s beyond normal.

In my point of view, how can you serve to protect other species if it meant risking the species of your own kind? It’s useless. And, who would eat “lab-made meat”? I don’t care if it tastes the same. I don’t think you’ll be able to get the same nutritional values you could get from the real thing.

But honestly, with the rate the world population is going right now, the future generation might just end up eating lab-made meat, and probably even veggies.

It’s funny how the fumes she makes fades so abruptly. The clock says it’s 2:45.. she still has 15 minutes left before her system shuts down. Her usual 70 wpm is now down to 20. All she can hear is the ticking of the clock, the buzz of the aircondition and the whirring of the fan. No one is up but her. She’s thinking of something. She wants to rest, but her mind won’t let her. It doesn’t get better. Things won’t change. Weeks have passed and things are still the same. Change is not the trend around here. She is usually passed out in the morning. It allows her to miss all the chaos of the people who loves matters of consequences. It gives her the freedom to be a child, to sleep most of the day and to dream about having a perfect life. She wakes up and she realizes that everything is just as they were before she goes to sleep. She never breaks down in front of anybody. Well, she does around people who knows that somehow she is still human. She cares. She still cares. But she wants people to think that she is as heartless as the others, that she is for some reason concerned about the figures and the consequences. But just like the others, she doesn’t do anything about it. She loathes the insane thought of going out to get some sun on her skin. She is something.

Yet, I don’t understand her sometimes. I’d like to think that she gets irrational when she tries to be rational. Her judgment are often safe. She plays her game as neutral as possible. She misleads people with her words. But that’s not a talent. Words can always be misleading. She is starting to tire as the clock strikes 5 minutes before her deadline. She loves beating deadlines. Just like now, she wins.

There’s more to it than just killing time. It’s a different feeling when you’re staying up late just because compared to staying up late because you have papers due the next day and an exam at the same time. It’s different because you can get all the slack that you want without risking any of the tasks that you have to accomplish. It feels good and at the same time it makes you feel less productive than you could be. Still, it’s fun.

I’ve been busy downloading episodes from house and reading e-books of the Stephenie Meyer series. How could it get any better than this?

I could stay all week inside the house as long as I have stuff to read and internet. The perks of modern technology.

When does something matter? how would you know if you matter at all? It takes a lot of courage to accept that your existence really doesn’t matter, well not to everyone, but for most people you know. You start going out, you meet a lot of friends, but there are just a few that matters to you. It’s the same thing.

You get irritated when someone bugs you, and you’re not even friends-Friends. I mean, you met once.. or twice.. but what the hell. Stop pestering me! Hahaha.

Anyway, as I was saying matter is just matter. You don’t matter to someone, but for sure, to one person you matter dearly. Sometimes you’ll get to a point where you’ll start asking yourself what the fuck is wrong with you, but you’ll find nothing. That is because there is nothing wrong. It’s not your fault that your ideas aren’t the same as others. Definitely not your fault that people see you in a different way that you see yourself.

It doesn’t really matter if you matter or not.

What matters is that you know to whom you matter the most, and who matters to you.
the things that matter will come along the way.

This day felt longer than any other day I’ve had. (not really. the day I was cramming for my thesis proposal and psych scale was waaaaaaay longer. 3 days straight without normal sleep—REM). I woke up late. My mom went to East Coast with her friends, my sister and a house mate were eating breakfast/lunch, my father was, hmmm, I’m not really sure.  My day didn’t turn out to be as fun as I imagined it. It’s a long weekend and it’s Saturday. I was actually hoping that the family would go out, spend time together… but wait, it only took one man to ruin it.  Great.  So sister and I decided to go to the National Library to return some books, and to loan some as well. I was able to loan The Alchemist and Mrs. Freud. (Don’t ask me, I’m bored and I just want to read something to pass time)

After going to the NLB, we went to Bugis. Nothing spectacular. Hahaha. After that, we spent the whole evening at sister’s friend’s place. It was his birthday party, and as usual, I am the party crasher. It was a gathering with lots of Ogurs and Ogurettes. Actually, they were different, a whole lot different, from those I know. They were actually… nice.. and humanly.

It’s fun hanging out with my sister and her friends here. Although, you’ll know when you get to spend time with them that they are infused with the stress of the Chekwas they work for.  I’m glad that sister found friends like them. =) reason? I’ll keep it to myself.

My friends are asking me how my sembreak is.. and I always tell them that it’s all good, I’m having fun.. yada yada.

That’s what I want to think. But, seriously? Hmm. I don’t know. This break is kind of like one of those moments I have been avoiding for a very long time now. Petty quarrels with my mom and sister, irritating father who lurks around when you’re up to something, and the ungodly arguments between my father and mother.

If you’re a hopeful kid who was looking forward to a very exciting and joyous vacation, and ends up spending your free days with people who are only up for the figures and moolah, most specially the moolah, you’ll be disappointed.

When I look back, I remember how excited I was to end the sem and to go here as soon as classes ended.. now I feel like, everything was just so.. overrated.

I’m the new cancer, never looked better, you can’t stand it.

A lot of people say that I am heartless. Some would say that I’m the most fickle-minded person, when it comes to relationships. I say, I’m just misunderstood.

Things get boring. And when things get intolerably, and annoyingly boring, it’s best that you go your own way and look for something more interesting. I am not playing around. I am actually looking for something thatt would make me really happy. The kind of happy that is not superficial. One that would make me smile first thing in the morning as I wake up. That kind of happy.

A friend told me that I have this personality that some people find hard to deal with. The shifting moods, the ego-centrism, the superiority AND inferiority complex, and a whole lot more about who I am. I get it. Maybe it’s hard to understand me, but I am not going to change just to please somebody. This is me, and you have to deal with who I am. If you can’t accept me, well fella, sorry bout that but you’ll never get with me.

But anyway, would you please, tell me, as in honestly… am i that difficult? I swear, just tell me the truth. I won’t be mad.

The world is comprised of men and women of different ages: children, adolescents, yound adult, middle aged people, and the old aged. Now why am I saying this? Well it’s because most men feel like they dominate the world. Or at least, that a girl’s world should revolve around him. Sorry to fail you MAN, but life is not always about you. If men like going out with girls they can flaunt in parties and gatherings, WOMEN could also do that. And based on experience, women have done it far better than men have. Why? Because until now, these men have no idea that they are just part of the list women have made: The list of men others would die to go out with, but after a few days, I’ll be saying “Oh he’s just okay, nothing significant”. Hahaha.

Man-whore – a noun used to describe a man with an undying craving for lust and physically intimate activities with a number of subjects (either woman or another man) at the same time, sometimes at the same place, but not necessarily.

I’ve met a couple of manwhores, and well…. some of them are not really the kind of guy you would say “WOOOAH”. You know what I think? These manwhores are those boys who were bullied around during their childhood and adolescent days and when they got their way around their college lives, they started acting like they can screw anybody they wanted to. The screwing up part— well some man whores succeed in doing that, but for the other parts— nahhh, there are no other parts. Manwhores are only up for the screwing. Which is kind of sad, because if you’re done screwing with a manwhore, he’s only good for nothing.

Hahahaha. Okay, so much for those stupid manwhores. So, people (men and women), beware of the manwhore. Because he screws anything that moves, and usually, knows nothing about humanly accepted behavior.

Wait, that makes a manwhore = caveman. Perfect.

=P

true true

Hahahaha. I saw this pic at the BanThis site. You know how it happens in the movies, when the lead guy/girl is dying, the moments in their life are flashing in their minds… that happened to me when I saw this picture. The moments where I needed to do something either for my acads or my extra/co curricular stuff, I procrastinate.

Multi-slack, as I call it, is easier. To procrastinate and to multi-slack is a lot more easire and (well not actually better) but, less tiring to do. And it actually makes you look like you’re multi tasking, because your slacking off and procrastinating at the same time.

Okay this is bad.  I am actually justifying my irrational procrastination during the past semester. I can’t remember how many times I have promised myself to do better every start of the sem. Oh yeah, right. I do it every sem, before classes start. And forget about it when classes have actually started. Amazing.

But you see, I’m not happy that I slacked off in some areas. I have better reasons than just not wanting to do anything. I actually want to finish everything that I have to do on time. It’s just that I have so many things to do, and so little time to do them. (You’ve probably heard that line a million times, but it’s true for me). So I set deadlines and I ask people to push me on doing everything that I have to do. It’s better when there’s someone pressuring me on finishing something. At least, I feel the weight of what I have to do.

Now, I’m enjoying my sembreak. My goal is to drive out the spirit of procrastination in my body. (if that’s possible). Otherwise, I just have to learn how to fight it, using cups of coffee and whining blogs.

Ang boooring. Bakit kaya?

I spent the whole day inside the house. I feel like I’m so deprived of the right to go out and enjoy the semestral break that I have been waiting for, for a very very long time now. Of course I’m just whining. I’m not really deprived. I’m actually the most fortunate person to have gotten what I wanted for this sem break, and that is to go here in Singapore and spend time with my sister and mom.

But then, I’m missing out on all the fun I could get if I were in the Philippines. That sucks. Hmm. Think about it, I’ll be back on the 7th (that’s a friday), so I have enough time to prepare for my birthday party (with my friends).. then Nov. 10th is a Monday, no classes yet, so I can still go out. Nov 11 is my enrollment day. Late reg sucks but it’s okay. Hahaha. I’ll just bear with it.

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I’ve been really cranky for the past few days. I hate it.

People love to escape. No matter how much they deny it, they just can’t deny it. Escaping doesn’t literally mean getting out of the picture, though that’s one good way of escaping. Escaping could mean avoiding the reality, ignoring the truth, or creating a new dimension that is different from what others are used to.

I have my own ways of escaping from everything that I want to escape from. Sometimes I tend to grow distant from people, sometimes I move from one place to another, sometimes I lie. No matter how I do it, I still escape.

Its not a healthy habit though. Most of the time, we have to admit, that it is better to face the things that we are afraid of.  We can never fully escape from anything. We hide. We forget.But it doesn’t change the fact that other people exist and that events have happened. Regardless of the things we do to escape, they will be there.