What if

If people only knew how things really are, would they still be the same?

Childhood memories part 3

Trying to remember things that are a lifetime old is not very easy. Not because they’re hard to recall, but because there are some things that you would rather keep buried in the deepest and darkest parts of your memory.

But I think, being a kid then, no matter how bad the world seemed to be, we still managed to make it somehow… a good experience.

Like when my mother punished me and my sisters by kneeling on rock salt with our arms raised forward. I would say, those were the one of most excruciating days of our childhood but for some reason we just laughed it off, still played pranks when the mother turned her back and rested on each other when we got tired.

I have vague memories of having my parents around back then. I remember waiting for them until late at night and the nanny would have to force me to sleep or use all sorts of monster that would eat me if I went down the bed.

I remember how one of my aunts who we all are very fond of would catch the small sparrow for us, sometimes she’d catch a beetle and tie a thread on it’s back so we could play with it. Children are too carefree and the lives of these creatures were put in vain in our hands.

Tbc…

One day

One day, we will both look back and remember this as the time when I was a “wrong” person and everything about me must be changed and corrected.

Childhood memories part 2

Continuation….

We grew up having nannies since our parents were both working then. I remember the best days were when “ate” (the 1st nanny) would carry me around and let me and my sisters take turns riding on her back.. I remember one particular moment where I think I first felt sympathy and realized my love for cats, it was when my uncle threw one little kitten in the river…and after a few days we could here little meows in our toilet..

I can barely remember how the house looked like then, I remember it was small and ugly, the ceiling was very rough and the floor was not tiled. There was a big window from where I jumped from and got myself some scars mostly on the nose, forehead etc.

I also remember one morning, my mother called me and my sister ate Jen outside and she took photos of us standing outside the house. I remember there was a hose lying around, mama must have been watering the plants, and I was scolded because I wore my slippers the wrong way.

I remember a few times when my father was with us. I remember when he came home and my sisters and I would go and race each other in taking his shoes off, then we will make him carry mama…i remember a time when he was feeding us rice with milk and sugar and we would sing “Pa – ahhh” calling his attention when it was our turn to eat rice.

I remember when we had a new nanny, ate Annie. She was very ugly. She had big pimples on her face and she looked like a witch. I remember the first months with her was quite okay. She was my nanny when I started school. My kindergarten days were terrible. I was a very shy kid and I feared people will bully me. I cried when I did not see her by the window. I think there was a time when I walked back home as the school was just a few blocks away.

Tbc….

Childhood memories part 1

Somehow i have this feeling where maybe i only imagined everything until it became so real, but i know that there are some memories that were retained from when i was younger…

My earliest memory.. I think would be when i was around 2 or 3… I remember playing outside my house with my sisters and childhood friends back when we still lived in Manila.

Our area is right across a strip of illegal settlements, and the only separation was a river (or maybe it was a canal or something, i can barely remember) and the only way to cross was through some planks laid between the two areas.

My memories in this place are very limited as i only stayed here for awhile… I remember that we had a big window where you can see the neighbors passing by, the same window where my sisters would play with the sparklers during new year’s eve(i was too afraid back then)… I remember how the neighbors would come to see us…and how some times my mother would leave me to the care of our neighbor from the house behind ours. I never enjoyed my stay there, because they always force me to go to sleep.

Tbc…..

Another random thought..

Accept it or not, life is all about expectations. Even our parents who already love us unconditionally have expectations from us.

Expectations arent always a bad thing. People who say otherwise are those who cannot deliver what might be expected of them.

During my earlier days as a student..our class adviser would ask us to get a sheet of paper, and write down two things. First, what do we expect from them for that school year and what can she expect from me for that school year. For all the 4 years that i spent there..i had a standard answer. I expect to learn and they can expect that i’ll be cooperative. And it worked out pretty well for me.

Setting expectations mean less disappointment, because having expectations is inevitable anyways.

Just a random thought.

If what makes you happy and what is right are not the same things anymore…then something is definitely wrong. (captain obvious would agree)

Just a random thought.

If what makes you happy and what is right are not the same things anymore…then something is definitely wrong. (captain obvious would agree)

2012

Happy Dragon year everyone!:)

CNY at Lorong 29

I didnt get to celebrate the CNY but I think it’s been treating me well so far…. A lot of good things going on in the office, good karma I say. Quoting someone I know but would not want to mention “Good things come to those who wait and those who are righteous”.. Hell, yeah!! =)

I had a very interesting weekend. Spent it with my bf’s family. I learned how to gamble the Chinese way…and I also learned how to play a Pinoy game taught by Chinese…(I’m not quite sure about it but they call the game “malacanang” but I’ve never heard it before.) I also received ang pao from relatives (thank you all) and saw old photos of their family.. it makes me a bit jealous as it’s been so long since I had my family and other relatives gather together just to catch up with each other…

Anyway, I have a lot of big plans for this year and I hope everything materializes. I hope the dragon treats me well this year.

Growing Old(er)

In about 5 mins from now marks my 22nd year of existence in this world. 22 years filled with a lot of things I never thought I’d be able to experience.

I am very happy because this year is a very special year for me, as I have finally stepped into adulthood and yes, I am still overwhelmed with all the responsibilities, but I am enjoying and I am excited for everything life has in store for me.

For this year, I have not made my Wishlist yet so I think I’ll just give it a quick note here.

1. Camera (point and shoot)
I’ve always wanted to get my own DSLR but due to budget constraints, I never had the guts to get it.. but a point and shoot camera can do.. I’ve missed out on a lot of events, and my phone can only take so much photos…. so yeah, I would love to have a camera this year.

2. COOKBOOK
I dont know but every year I wish for a cook book, but even I myself am so lazy to get one.. well, it’s a bit unnecessary now because there are a lot of recipes available online. but i’d still want one!!

3. A TICKET TO GOOD CHARLOTTE / URBANDUB CONCERT!!!!!
I’m not a big fan of Good Charlotte, but I am a fan of Urbandub!! Yes!! That’s true. It’s been two years since the day I watched them live…

4. A PLANE TICKET TO PHILS..
It’s been more than a year since I left.. and I would really really really be happy if I’d be able to go back.. There are so many things I can not wait to do…. and so many people I miss… My sister, ashlee, nanang, my sisses, brods, friends, labs, pards, my pets… still so sad for the death of my dog Choopie….

I think that’s all for now.. will update this list soon..